How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
