I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
