i think i have herpe
just one?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
