kristin has been a bad kristin
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
