Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
