I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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