we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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