so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
