I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
