my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How naked do you want me to be?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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