I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We named our party play list daddy issues
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize