as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize