If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
