thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
