i may or may not be watching the land before time
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize