if i can run in heels then i can drive
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
