i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
