WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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