thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
