Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
