Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's always time for handjobs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
