I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
