All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
