Pants 0. Shit 1.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize