i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
