I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
