And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
