Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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