i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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