I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
People in love make me want to vomit
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My feet surprised me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
