Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
