I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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