therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
