ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize