i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
