shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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