Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
