just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
