I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Randomize