I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
