Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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