bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
