I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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