he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
