UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
