when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize