Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
