A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There r osticjed everywhere
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
