she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
