either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
