Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
