I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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