im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
