lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
