Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also, beer. Big fan.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
