This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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