I just made out with a guy for $7.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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