we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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