you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
