The brown eye won't let me do that either.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
