the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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