I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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